He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
