Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I need to align my fucking chakras
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
