if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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