You really coming over, don't trick.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
