Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
