I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
