i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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