and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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