you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
