Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
