You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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