we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
