I need help removing her.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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