ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
