No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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