do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
