Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
