Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
