i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
