I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
