well most of my day revolves around power hour
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
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