her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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