So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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