I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
