Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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