HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Are we still banned from the library?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
