ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
