That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
