i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
