Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
In other news, I just burned my penis
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
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