she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
