o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
