Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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