I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
