remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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