Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
