K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
