The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
