she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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