i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
