dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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