too bad you live with your parents still
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
