I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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