the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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