Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
