mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize