Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
