what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
