so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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