You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
