what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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